Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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