We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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