You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
