If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I want to fling myself into the sun
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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