Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
two words...techno handjob
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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