Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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