I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
