we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
