There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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