I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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