And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
