id be glad to
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
