Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm really busy with my period
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