She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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