Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
the liver wants what the liver wants
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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