why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
