Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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