If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
