next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize