i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
