Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
