Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
