shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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