did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
