Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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