Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
