Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
