he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm passing your future prison.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
