she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
