Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
