You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
