He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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