I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
