Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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