peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
