you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
