I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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