We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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