I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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