You smell like a Billy Joel song
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I came so hard my ears popped.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
