hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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