its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think I won the penis lottery.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
