I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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