This is not my ceiling
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children