We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare