It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.