she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Are we still banned from the library?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
