Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
