So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize