i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
