Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
