i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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