singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
