8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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