dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.