I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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