Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again http://tfl.nu/f45r
  Replies (1) Good night (1468) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up http://tfl.nu/co6p
  Replies (64) Good night (586) Bad night (3535)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies. http://tfl.nu/dozm
  Replies (10) Good night (5096) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do. http://tfl.nu/1xvv
  Replies (16) Good night (4439) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it. http://tfl.nu/bqup
  Replies (11) Good night (5134) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number? http://tfl.nu/4q6h
  Replies (33) Good night (5485) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy. http://tfl.nu/z1ta
  Replies (81) Good night (2624) Bad night (8150)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man http://tfl.nu/2zew
  Replies (8) Good night (1489) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier? http://tfl.nu/rucv
  Replies (9) Good night (1652) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!" http://tfl.nu/rhjr
  Replies (1) Good night (747) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (737): View more from Texas

  Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (737): Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner. http://tfl.nu/o0od
  Replies (5) Good night (1352) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real. http://tfl.nu/xx9a
  Replies (4) Good night (792) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy? http://tfl.nu/kkqk
  Replies (10) Good night (1670) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us. http://tfl.nu/nid9
  Replies (3) Good night (383) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher. http://tfl.nu/m5qa
  Replies (10) Good night (303) Bad night (729)

Randomize