is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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