dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize