What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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