i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
