U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
