Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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