I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
