After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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