there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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