my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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