Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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